ErinLaing.com

I wrote this up as an email several weeks ago and sent it to a couple of friends. The feedback was pretty good so I decided to post it on the blog. The names of have been changed for privacy reasons.

My U2 U-Bahn Experience

I’m taking German lessons in Charlottenburg (which is in west Berlin).

I take the U2 U-Bahn every day to get to and from class. My stop is Wittenbergplatz. A lovely train station that sells delicious salted pretzels.

I briskly walked to the station after my class ended yesterday evening, as it was raining and probably -5 degrees.

Once I got to the station I heard my train coming from below and ran down the steps to catch it. Unfortunately I did not have time to buy my pretzel.

I jumped onto the train just as the warning bells started to sound (signaling the doors would be closing).

Something felt off.

“Normally the train comes from left to right.” I say to myself. “Oh, I probably just ran down the steps from the opposite side” which would explain the right to left phenomenon.

I keep an eye on the map to make sure the next stop is Nollendorfplatz (which would indicate that I am in fact heading in the right direction.)

Yup. The woman on the loud speaker says Nollendorfplatz. 15 stops to go. I’m good.

I take my bag off and relax. We stop at Nollendorfplatz.

“Hun. everyone is getting off my car. This is weird. I’ve never had a train car all to myself. Normally it’s so busy at this hour. Oh well, more room to myself. Erin, do your lips move when you talk to yourself?” I ask as the doors close.

The train keeps moving. And moving. “Hun” I say to myself once again. “The next stop is above ground. Why are we still underground?”

Now, in Berlin, train lines end in the middle of the city center. You don’t have to take the train out of the city to get to the end of the line. Nope. You can be in the middle of town, and those train cars are heading to their docking station where they sit for servicing or until they’re needed for their next run. Which could be in three minutes or the following day.

Obviously mild panic has started to set in. We’ve been moving for quite a while and we’re still not above ground, nor have we stopped.

“Am I on the right train? What the hell was that message in German on the loud speaker? You know, when EVERYONE in unison decided to get off the train at Nollendorfplatz? Were they saying, ‘everybody get off the train, this is the last stop’”?

“oh, my god. why are we passing 20 other stationary train cars just sitting around? And why are we still moving? oh my god. where the hell am I?”

I get up and look at the map. “Fuck me. I got on the U3 instead of the U2. There is no stop after Nollendorfplatz”

Train slows down. Comes to a slow, steady crawl. Then stops.

“yup. I’m in the docking station.”

I wait. It’s pitch black in the tunnel. At least the train car lights are still on. I sit down. Don’t panic.

So now I’m a little freaked out cause I really don’t know if they’re going to turn this train around and just head back in the other direction or if it’s going to sit there for servicing for I don’t know how long.

Okay, now the engine is off. And there go the lights in the subway car.

Now, I do what any person in my situation would do and start pressing on all the buttons I see in the train - even though I have no idea what they say. I assume the driver must still be around so I wait a while until I hear some noise.

I wait and wait.

Nothing. I start banging on the windows. “Hello! Hello!”

Finally I hear a door shut and I see the driver walk by. He starts yelling at me in German.

I’m assuming he is saying something along the lines of “you idiot, Nollendorfplatz was the last stop.”

me: “I don’t speak German! I didn’t understand!”

driver: “ach” he says as he waves his hand in disregard at me.

“ach? what the fuck? Where the hell is he going? Can you turn the lights back on? Hello?

Now my phone rings. Good to know there is such great reception in the underground.

me: “hello.”

person: “Hi Erin, it’s Peter.”

me: “Oh, hi Peter how’s it going?”

side note - German’s don’t do this ‘how are you, how’s it going’ thing so when I often ask the question they tend to fumble and not really know how to respond except to simply continue with why they are calling or speaking to you in the first place.

Peter: “okay, ja so a bunch of us are going for a drink at 8:30 tonight at bar 103.”

me “oh, okay great. I’ll be there. where is it again?”

Peter: “it’s on the corner of Zionskirchstrasse and Kastanienallee”

I’m barely listening at this point.

me: “wait, where is that?”

Peter: “near Veteranenstrasse”

me: “okay. sounds good. Is the address 103 or is it called 103?”

Peter: “called 103. There’s no sign, so just ask around to people in the street if you can’t find it. They’ll know it”

me: “Okay, cool. So Peter…”

Peter: “ja”

me “I’m kind of stuck in a subway car, in the docking station.”

Peter: “what do you mean stuck?”

me “well, I accidentally got on the U3 instead of the U2 and now we’re docked, and not moving. And I’m kind of nervous that maybe the train won’t start moving again.”

Peter (laughter): “ah. that’s very funny. would you like to sing a song to keep yourself distracted?

I laugh nervously “not really.”

Peter: “you could get out and walk along the tracks. The drivers walk it after they pull the cars in.”

me: “no. don’t really want to do that either”

Peter: “no, I’m kidding. don’t worry. it will start moving soon.”

Peter kindly stays on the phone for a little bit and lo and behold the car starts moving again. I get off at Nollendorfplatz and switch to the U2 line.

And so ends my lovely adventure on the U3 U-Bahn.

It may have only been 10 minutes, but those minutes, alone, in a dark subway car, below the streets of Berlin, felt like an eternity.

~~~

On the iPod: Radiolab: Stress
Photos from my trip to Budapest.